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How to Handle Criticism in a Relationship When you are first in love, everything is great and rosy. It is all about us, not you and me. But after a while the ego begins to creep back in. You begin to notice your partner's faults, and will call attention to them. Your partner in return also will begin to call attention to your faults. In this way the vicious circle begins. What is your reaction to being criticized? You will defend yourself, of course. And you will defend in a tone of voice that is less than pleasant. You partner will then reinforce the criticism in a very emphatic manner, and if you don't shut up a fight will ensue. Exactly the same thing will happen when you decide to criticize your partner. Projection All criticism is the result of projection, that is, you project an unfavorable image onto the other person and attack it. So when you are criticized know that it is an image that is being attacked and not you. The thing to do is let it slide. If it is a misunderstanding then explain in a cool and calm manner. As if it does not matter. If the explanation is not accepted (more often than not) then let it go at that. Yes, it does not matter! When you want to criticize another person you must realize if it is something in you that you do not like and is seeing it in another person. If it is something that needs to be point out then point it out. There is a difference in pointing out something and criticizing. It is in your intent, which your tone of voice will reflect. Practice and know the difference. Resolution No relationship will last without tolerance and acceptance. See yourself in the other shoe. You will then gain more understanding. With more understanding you will start to accept more and more. Your partner will change too when you change, but you must take the initiative. Resources Did you suffer a breakup? Click Here to
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