7 Relationship Problems and Solutions

In spite of all the advice available for relationships, the problems remain; the divorce rate didn’t fall. If you are in a relationship there is a good likelihood that it will fail. The trouble is that most people are not aware that their relationship is failing until it is too late. So help is needed in solving the relationship problems. Here are 7 main problems that you might want to tackle.

1. Taking everything for granted.

In the beginning we all make efforts to build a good relationship, but as time goes on a lot of things become a matter of routine. That is when the relationship is on “autopilot” mode. The problem is that the chores take a toll and you would like your partner to give you some motivation by appreciation. But this is never done; I mean this is not done universally at all! The relationship degenerates. Even is there is no big fights it is not fun anymore. 

A simple “Thank You” is so easy to say, and it makes all the difference. When asking for anything say “Please”, this is so easy and requires no effort at all. After a meal say to the cook “It’s delicious”.  Things like that will actually enhance your relationship. The main thing is, get off the “autopilot” mode.

2. Talking stopped.

When you were in love you two were talking constantly, you could spend a night on the park bench just talking! As the relationship become steady it begins to bog down. Conversations become about routine matters, and heartfelt sharing gradually fades out. This happens in all relationships.

Start by not keeping everything to yourself; share you day regardless if your partner is interested in listening. Encourage your partner to share too. Share your feelings and let your mate share his/her feelings too. Gradually things will “pick up”.

3. Expressing your feelings stopped.

Continuing from the previous point, have you stopped saying “I love you”? Or things in the similar vein? If you are mad at your partner, do you just stay quiet? When expressing your feelings stops the relationship will stop too. It is important to let your partner know about your emotions.

Feeling are never too mundane to share, it is important that they are made known to your loved one. You haven’t stopped feeling, why stop sharing? Keep things going!

4. Not listening.

If you say something you would like to be heard. So if your partner is telling you something and it goes in one ear and out another then you are jeopardizing your relationship.

A relationship by definition is the sharing of life between two persons. If you are not acknowledging the sharing from your partner then the relationship will slowly die from lack of “watering”. Don’t let your relationship go dry, take an active interest in your mate’s life, then you both are richer for it.

5. The fun died out.

You came together to share your lives, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In the beginning being together is lots of fun, you go everywhere, do everything. Everything is rosy. But as time goes by the fun gradually wears out, and if you are not careful the relationship will start to die.

Why did the fun died out? So what did you stop doing? Hiking? Tennis? Dancing? Or Kayaking? You are so busy with life such that there is no time for you two. But you must. Make some room in your busy schedule and start doing these things again. By the way, have fun!

6. Criticism.

What is criticism? Read my other article on this site “How to Handle Criticism in a Relationship”. I would want to add that criticism or nitpicking occurs because you feel compromised getting into this relationship. It is not perfect and it doesn’t serve your purpose.

May I remind you a relationship is about "us". If it is all about "me me me" then separation is a certainty down the road. You get into a relationship because being a bachelor (bachelorette) is not sustainable in long run. If you are guilty of constantly criticizing then you really should consider what a relationship is really all about. 

If it is about two people sharing and living together then you will be richer for. If it is about getting what you want, then you will get what you want – all by yourself! 

7. Making Threats.

Continuing from the last point, if you don’t get what you want then you will start making threats. Making threats is the number one relationship killer, it is absolutely the worst. Under no circumstance should any party make any threats.

Instead let you mate have what he/she wants, then in appreciation you mate might just let you have what you want. What do you want? Give it to your partner first; by giving first then you have what you want. This logic is so counter intuitive but a relationship is about giving, not getting.

It needs repeating again and again – a relationship is about giving, not getting. It needs repeating until it is drilled into some thick skulls. Then we might not have such high divorce rates.

If your relationship is already on the rocks, take heart – you can mend you problems. Only depend on one thing – are you willing? If you are then there is hope. As I have said, nobody is that far gone!

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